Moving Past The Past

I have spent some time in reconnecting with my past and in particular with my parents and my upbringing.

For this to be an authentic learning journey, I need to learn something, and here is an important lesson.

Why do I as an older man bother about how I was brought up by my parents? It was well over half a century ago

The answer is that despite me thinking of myself as a mature, responsible adult, I still relate back to that time to some degree.

Now it’s ok to recognise that these forces of childhood exist, but to find I am still living by them is not ok.

I know I should have already taken full responsibility for my thinking and I should have cleared out all these old “tribal” things long ago. But clearly not yet.

As I said, moving past the past is sometimes tricky because we haven’t paid enough attention to what it gave us. So I have learned something for sure about who I am.

Next Steps

I don’t have a plan just yet. Turn left or right?

I begin to see that value of a physical pilgrimage. For when setbacks occur one can still look back and see some distance covered. There are also comrades on the journey that one either sees or recognise or actually speak to. Fellow companions who also have their ups and downs.

I too need to make some physical path to walk each day, to at least give the illusion of progress. Wow. All this and I have only been going a few days. I should have packed more carefully.

I have some ideas and will spend today mulling over them to determine the next step.

This is much harder than I thought. We old people who have faced many trials of life already think anything now should be easy but it’s not. I will keep you posted.

PostScript

As I try and develop on this journey, I will come across seemingly unrelated things that I just don’t want to miss and I want to record. I will try and add them as a PS like this.

So I was thinking about how the underworld or heaven or whatever you call it is portrayed in different cultures. In ancient Greek myths, various people are taken on trips down to the Underworld. The characteristic I notice is that some of the Shades there are recognisable.

Likewise, in Dante’s Inferno, Dante meets people he knew from his life in the living world. He discusses their fate with them and they seem to remember everything about their lives.

However, in some Eastern cultures, this seems not to be the case. When people die they leave their personalities behind and become, at best, archetypes being maybe demons or saints.

I wonder where this leaves me in looking for myself. I guess I need to follow the European viewpoint of my soul carrying major aspects of my personality with it.

But this doesn’t fit my experience of people I know getting Dementia, Senility, Alzheimer’s disease or whatever you call it these days. These people are already losing their personalities and mental faculties long before they pass on.

How can their souls carry those pieces of personality if they have already disintegrated?

That is the question.

 

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