How Can I Contribute Better?

M2. I am writing this blog these days, which I hope is more than just writing down my thoughts. I guess I feel there is more I can contribute, but that depends on what you, the readers, want.

My aim is currently to clarify how we can use dreaming to gain greater access to who we are and what we really want, beyond shopping for more stuff. (NB. I live in Singapore and shopping is a major pastime here!)

I have already discussed a bit about finding out “who we are” as individuals in various past blog posts. But “what we want” is another topic.

What Do We Want?

“It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”

– Abraham Maslow (famous psychologist )

Whether we know what we want or not doesn’t stop life going forward anyway. Life just happens. The question is can we respond better to life’s challenges, and for this I want to share three methods as follows:

  1. Do As We Are Told: Society is always happy to tell us what to do and when to do it. In traditional societies, this was the norm. Eg. Look at the rules for living in the early part of the Bible. So if you want a society-prescribed life, this is for you.
  2. Choose Our Role Model: Here we choose a successful person whom we admire, such as a film star, music star or a business supremo or whatever, and follow the inspiring things they say and do. This a perfect if you want to be someone who is different from who you are currently.
  3. Follow Our Own Path: We can choose to forge our own path but maybe continue to live in our normal society. We can do it on our own terms and in our own way. This method is tricky because it seems that you may need to know more about what you want, and as Maslow says, that may be difficult.

I must admit that item 1. above that says to do as we are told, has never appealed to me.

And even item 2. that suggests choosing a role model seems a bit creepy. I will admit I have wanted to be like James Bond but I don’t think that is realistic. I have also considered following a “guru” but again, that is just following along behind someone else who may or may not be going the right way for me. It’s a bit arbitrary.

So I am left with item 3. which means I have to follow my own path. That’s my choice.

The problem with choices is that there are always consequences. Again Maslow has more useful stuff to say, but it’s a warning, unfortunately,

“If you deliberately set out to be less than you are capable, you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life”

That sounds a little negative, but if we turn it around it says that setting out to be the best we can be, will give us the greatest potential for happiness and most success in our lives.

All Change?

It is a common theme from self-help books and such teachers that they all want us to change.

It’s as if they are saying that we aren’t good enough for this life. And even Maslow seems again to touch on it when he goes on to say,

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

But I think this is a confusion. I think our minds and bodies consist of a multiplicity of characters or players, that would do better if they were cooperating rather than in conflict with each other.

So I agree that everyone needs an awareness of themselves but I would say that negotiations need to take place between the parts rather than the person needing to necessarily “change”.

Following Our Own Path

So this blog is actually mostly about the 3rd method outlined above, that is about following our own path in life. It is also about enjoying the process and having fun at the same time.

So my questions to you are:

  • Is there an aspect of dreaming that you would prefer me to discuss?
  • Is it ok in text form or would you prefer an audio of me speaking to a deck of powerpoint slides?
  • What information (related to dream) would help you to follow your own path better?

Many thanks in advance for your comments.

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