Of Dreams and Life

M1. I am prompted by a challenge that asks me to give up on material things and things of the mind to venture into the spiritual realm with passion.

Before I answer that challenge, I want to give you some clue on how I got to where I am now.

I can skip most of the formative years of my life and come to the crescendo where Everything in life fell apart. Life had never been easy but it was manageable. But then I lost everything that Maslow describes in his Hierachy of Needs.

I risked survival and was at times on the verge of suicide anyway. I cared little for safety. I damned love and belonging. I waved goodbye to all my friends. I left my country with a suitcase. My reputation was in tatters. I cared nothing for learning and went headlong into alcoholism.


I did find recovery of sorts, over a few years, through self-development. I can say this was my savior, along with a new life.

I thought this was the turning point where I could start to rebuild my life in a new way.

But fate has a way of dashing hopes.


I didn’t know the meaning of re-birth until it happened to me. It didn’t happen over-night but over years.

It all started with the devastating news from the doctors that life had taken me in a different direction. I took the news rather badly and I railed against it for a short while, before going through some of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief – Denial, Anger,  Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Then things went really wrong and a lot more medical treatment that achieved nothing.

A similar process ensued of the Kubler-Ross experience only at a heightened level.

Dream and Dreaming

The first inkling that things would really improve was through my experiences with dream. The experiences, the understanding, the lucidity, the religiosity. All these things had an impact.

The change in me came also from trying to come to terms with my own mortality. This happened both in dreams and in waking life.

Dreams became the measure of how I was doing. They showed me the unsolved pieces of the jigsaw and the mystery of the parts that slowly began to make sense.

One of the simple things was to realize that it didn’t matter what I had done or not done in my life before. The marvelous thing about the past is that you can change it. A simple change of mind is all that is required to create the past differently.

Now I hear objections from you the reader. What do I mean to change the past? It’s already happened. But psychology tells us that our memories are not fixed. That every time we tell a story about the past, we embellish it a little more, and it is the embellished version that we end up remembering. Our memories of the past are fluid.

I used dreams to revise elements of my past to make the present more congenial. But enough of that, it’s just a small example.


Awakening is a slow process as far as I have discovered. It takes a long time to make small progress.

So returning to the challenge I was given at the start of this blog entry. The answer I can give you is that I don’t wish to take up the challenge to venture into the spiritual realm with passion.

It’s too difficult, it takes too long, and frankly, it scares the hell out of me to think about it because I am no ascetic. So I guess it’s not my destiny.

We all follow our destiny, whether by choice or by being dragged there.

I have found that searching for my own way to do things is right for me. I have made huge progress in travelling my route, but it’s my route and not anyone else’s.

I still have a huge distance to go but as life coaches always tell me, I am already successful, because I am still on the route to my own enlightenment. Every day is a new success. Every day is a step forward. Every day is the experience of a new dream and a new twist in my direction that I cannot foresee.

I hope you can follow your own path with as much joy as I do.











16 thoughts on “Of Dreams and Life

  1. When you hit rock bottom that’s when you start to awaken. The time where reality becomes unreal, and all that matters is the moment you’re in. I cherish people on their way to enlightenment more than people clinging to their tangible and intangible properties.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have an addition to your definition of hitting rock bottom. Yes, you may know that everything around you can only get worse, but for me, it’s the acceptance of the situations that really matters. The coming to terms with yourself, realizing that the situation your in is the worst that could happen, you are on the level of the ground, nothing bothers you no more; not death, not poverty, not the past, nor day tomorrow. The enlightenment that what you are is what really matters, and from then, you begin to grow, you cannot propel backwards because you’re in the state that no one can, not even you can bring yourself to the lowest of the low. You move without fear, without doubt. Living in the moment, and not worrying what comes of your decisions afterwards. You got nothing to lose because you got nothing.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know if you mean me to answer this or not but here is my view…
        My yardstick is the simplest.
        In the latter stages of the Buddha achieving enlightenment, he was faced with three temptations being Desire, Fear and Duty, which he overcame: And that night achieved enlightenment.
        In the Bible, Jesus also faces three temptations that are related to desire (bread), to duty (political power), and to fear (falling), if I remember correctly. There are some loose similarities here.
        So, if you are focusing on material things or self development or significance or relationships or … , I don’t think much spiritual growth is going to be very likely.


      2. To me, the people who are frantic about losing tangible and intangible properties, they are the closest to walking the path to enlightenment. Until you have a real struggle, in which you realize how attached you are to these things, then you break down, just after that you will know how delusional you are as a person for clinging to it. Generally, those who suffer, who are in pain, who are in a heartbreak, and those who lose, they are the one who need to deal with their mistake and suffering, and enlightenment is just a byproduct of that.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Ah so now I see your journey! I am sorry if my blog of Geelong evoked hard memories. It sounds like you are taking the right steps to deal with life, your life and what is going on within your life.
    All the best in your journey. I am always here if you need a friend to talk to .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi CameraPen. It’s difficult to keep a balance in a life story. Re-reading the post gives me too much of a feeling of depression. But actually, I think I approach life quite positively. I am married to a truly wonderful girl and have a delightful child whom we both dote over. He is currently not very well, but I believe that is just temporary.
      Rebounding in life is something I really believe in and have practiced rather more times than I would choose. But it all adds to the fun.
      My life (as Phil Collins says) is just another day in paradise. Others have problems, I just have minor glitches by comparison.
      Geelong is from an idyllic time in my life before reality nibbled. I have fond memories of Geelong and of my soul companion at that time.
      Thanks so much for your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes I feel that when we write blogs we bare our souls. I cannot believe the blogs I have written here on word press. They are very personal. It’s nice to hear you say you are happily married and that you have a little boy who you both dote over.
    What are you all doing for Christmas? For a change I am not working on Christmas Day. I have worked Christmas Day for the last 4 years.
    I will spend the day with my children and my parents. It is always a great day of presents and way too much food.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. In Singapore, Christmas a shopping day, so I will just spend it with my family like any other day, except we eat more and I try to talk about religion a little to educate my boy.
    You seem a bit more traditional, maybe?


    1. Thanks for this question too, Jacquelineobyikocha.
      Above I said Recovery of a sort took ‘a few years’, and this was 6 years on my timeline, followed by dashed hopes that occurred 10 years ago.
      I still feel I am only just starting my journey even now.
      Incidentally, in yoga traditions where Buddhist or Hindu monks follow the tough ascetic path, it is said that enlightenment does cannot occur in a single lifetime, but over many. My point is that I would not even attempt to enter this path since it is very difficult indeed.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s