P1. You may need a little lucid dreaming help if you have not yet succeeded in having a lucid dream. You may be trapped in a negative downward spiral because your expectations are not being met. But I am here to tell you that you need to stop telling yourself that you are failing, but rather may be trying too hard.
I remember my own feelings at the start of my lucid dreaming attempts. When I really wanted to know if lucid dreaming actually worked or not. There are so many over-hyped experiences discussed on the internet and I wondered if this was another one of them.
Lucid dreaming works. Even the old die-hard, evidence-based psychologists have been forced to admit there is something special about lucid dreams. But still I wasn’t getting any.
So I consoled myself with the experiences I was having. I was:
- Having many more vivid dreams
- Getting better at dream recall
- Getting more insights into what my dreams mean
But I was still a lucid dreaming virgin. I hadn’t tasted the lucid experience. I was totally frustrated and the more I tried, the more of a failure I felt. And I needed some lucid dreaming help.
Failing is Just Not Succeeding Yet
If the goal of lucid dreaming is too easy then it’s probably not worth striving for. So when you encounter, while dreaming, clear examples of impossible or quirky events, you are advised to say to yourself that this is a dream and become lucid. The problem is that in your dream you simply accept these events as normal and it’s only when you wake up you see how you missed so many opportunities.
The common reaction is to admonish yourself and will yourself to do better next time. But that is an error in my view. Better instead to reframe the situation and see incremental progress rather than total failure. Every time you miss an opportunity in your dream to become lucid, it’s a further piece of evidence that you are on the right track. Telling yourself you are a failure makes you feel bad, but seeing the missed opportunities as stepping-stones to success allows you to celebrate.
The problem is that when bad things happen to us we tend to make a huge fuss about it. We dwell on it in our minds, we discuss it with our friends, we work so hard on feeling bad about it, often for days at a time. But when things go well and we make progress, we dismiss it almost out of hand and simply focus on the next step of the journey. This way we spend all our time feeling like failures rather than feeling like learners who are making progress. All training takes time and lucid dreaming is no exception.
Lucid Dreaming Help
The best lucid dreaming help I can give you is to celebrate small successes in a big way. That way you will build your motivation to do better rather than give up like many other people do. That way you will be able to train yourself more to get to know your dreams better and notice the anomalies during your waking life. For it is in waking life that you prepare to be a lucid dreamer, then you naturally carry those habits with you into your dreams so that you can become lucid.
Mindfulness in waking life leads to mindfulness in sleep. The trick is to keep going and not be diverted.